Dear Sir / Madam (do any mails start like that any more?):
BODEN - I don't wear smocks.
The White Company - Do you offer a budget range of off-white? Beige or grey or sometimes pale pink, which is how they'll end up anyway.
Sweat Betty - In my part of London, wearing a £100 t-shirt for exercise is asking for trouble.
NEXT - I can & do use the internet. I also do use my legs and pass many of your shops... I do not however have room in my recycling for your hard cover tomes, delivered twice a year.
Thompson & Morgan / Gardeningworld / Bulbs r us (take your pick) - Much as I love your flowers / fruit / veg, I have a handkerchief instead of a garden
Not on the high street - That's not a new concept - there is, in fact, very little on the high street these days, except pound shops.
BODEN - Thanks for the discount, but I still don't wear smocks
Now, how do I direct all these retailers to this blog, rather than write to them individually?